


If That Were Possible

by Frogsarekindacool



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a pretty ok ending, Denial of Feelings, Dreams, F/M, Friendship/Love, Insecurity, Insomnia, Mirage | Elliott Witt & Wraith | Renee Blasey Friendship, No comfort really but there's no real hurt so? Depends on how you take this, No she doesn't tell him because I like to suffer, Overthinking, Path and Mirage have like 5 sentences, So after I finished this it turns out it's not as sad as I originally planned, Trust Issues, Tumblr Prompt, Wishful Thinking, Wraith is in denial and just wants to focus on her mission, lost in thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frogsarekindacool/pseuds/Frogsarekindacool
Summary: This is kind og inspired by the beginning of Scattertxt's version of this Tumblr prompt, but I just decided to change it up to be a bit more angsty.Prompt: Wraith passed by an alternate reality (or in this case, multiple realities) where she saw herself and Mirage dating.
Relationships: Mirage | Elliott Witt & Wraith | Renee Blasey, Mirage | Elliott Witt/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Kudos: 25





	If That Were Possible

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Every Single Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184895) by [scattertxt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scattertxt/pseuds/scattertxt). 



> IMPORTANT!!
> 
> Okay, so I hope this makes sense while I'm explaining it. Basically, when Wraith opens a portal/rift and sees other dimensions, she sees it from a 3rd person view (bc it's kinda like she's observing a different her). I think of it kind of like how voices follow her around, they also see her, and it's almost like she's one of those voices in the rift.
> 
> I hope that makes sense! She sees her other self rather than seeing though her other self, you know what I mean?

When Wraith uses her portals, she's typically in such a hurry she doesn't bother to observe what surrounds her. She knows of course, it's not like she's never truly observed her surroundings while inside the rift. Different worlds, different situations, different Wraiths.

In the times she had observed these little glimpses into her alternate lives, she'd seen herself so many times, in so many different scenarios, but it was never really her.They were just different versions of her. Like what she maybe could've been if her circumstances were different.

She'd stopped truly looking once the games had started. Then, she didn't have time to sit around and watch a different Wraith bleed to death on a battle ground that looked all too familiar, or watch herself smile a smile so wide, she was sure if she tried to copy it, her cheeks would ache. The one time she did see one like that, she was sure her other self was trying to trick herself into believing something. It didn't seen very genuine. She didn't really want to watch them anyway. It was more often horrifying or disappointing, than refreshing or useful.

"Go on, seriously we'll only be a minute. I just wanna make sure we got everything." Elliot had said it with this tone like he absolutely, desperately needed to make a thorough search of the area.

Wraith rolled her eyes. It didn't bother her. They still had plenty of time till the ring would close and they'd been patient with her in the past when she'd asked to stay longer in certain areas, albeit for different reasons.

"I think you are right friend! This area is supposed to harbor many useful items! Perhaps a thorough search could result in our advantage." Path had tagged in. Mirage elbowed Path in agreement.

"Right? He gets it. Besides, we've got a ton of time."

She wanted to, but resisted rolling her eyes this time. Instead she just replied, unbothered. "Don't be too long. My portal with be here for about a minute after I've placed it." They nodded and were off to explore the few unchecked camps they'd past.

She leisurely opened a rift and ran towards the ring, or as Elliot liked to call it, "The Eye of Death". He was always one for dramatics. It managed to make her smile whenever she thought about it. Most things he said seemed to warrant a smile from her, as cheesy as that sounded. Always made her feel a certain way. She referred to that certain way as pesky because she hated it.

She was good at ignoring that _pesky_ feeling she felt when she was around Elliot. Elliot was her friend, and he'd even let her call him by his first name.

She wouldn't say they were insanely close, but she liked how comfortable he made her. He was easy to be around, and that made her time here easier.

The nicest thing, though, was how respectful he was of her boundaries.

When they'd first met, he seemed to understand pretty quickly that Wraith needed her own space. So he was patient and gave her that space, but still persistent, which maybe in another dimension she could say she found endearing.

About halfway there, she'd noticed out of the corner of her eye, a mixture of colors that suddenly stood out to her. She slowed her pace, eyeing what she figured was another alternate universe. An alternate life she supposed.

When she came to a full stop, she realized that she was seeing herself, and Elliot. Not that odd, although ironic considering what she had just been thinking about. She's sure there are plenty of universes where they are friends. This, unlike what she'd just imagined though, didn't feel quite friendly.

They were sitting in her room, on her floor, talking about something that seemed serious, while Elliot soothingly rubbed her counterpart's palms. Wraith was interested in how, unlike her, her other self was back at the base, but if she was honest, she was trying not to think about the vulnerability of what she was watching.

She could hear them clear as day, she just realized she'd been so shocked by the scenario itself, she wasn't actually listening.

"This is- it's hard to explain. I barely know anything to begin with."

"Take your time. I'm not gonna force you to talk about it if you're not comf- comfer- comfortable. Sorry."

A small laugh.

"I'm okay. I want to be more open with you. I want this to work."

He placed a kiss on her hand.

"Me too."

That was when Wraith realized that in this alternate path, _she wasn't wearing her gloves_. Or anything to cover her scars, and Elliot didn't have a shirt on. She refused to read into that situation anymore and moved on.

While in the past, watching some of these other scenarios was hard, this felt very different from the others. She'd never seen any about her and Elliot before, and never really thought that maybe in a different universe, _they could be-_ that's a thought she felt awkward finishing. To be honest, she _had_ thought about it sometimes. Most of the time in those nights where she had trouble sleeping. She always made sure she didn't dwell on thoughts like that, reminded herself that Elliot was a great friend and teammate, and she wouldn't want to sully that. It being thrown in her face so boldly like this though, it was hard to ignore those feelings.

She moved on, recollecting herself and tried to ignore what surrounded her. But it was hard this time, because it felt like every one she passed, was about her and Elliot. She was sure she even saw one where Elliot had _taken a bullet_ for her after she'd made a bad move. That was hard to ignore just as it was hard to watch.

It frustrated her, but she couldn't help the tinge of jealousy she felt when she'd look over at a moment between him and a different version of herself, sharing a moment a little too intimate. A little too vulnerable. She knew, that at least in this lifetime, she didn't have that luxury.

As she continued to try to ignore them, one in particular caught her eye. It wasn't like the ones she'd seen before, it seemed, calm and comfortable. The atmosphere was calm and serene, which, comparing that to how she felt on a daily basis, almost made her want to snort, but she was caught up in the moment, and felt like she couldn't make any sort of noise.

It was her. In a bed. Alone, at least it seemed at first. She hadn't noticed before, but when her other self awoke, and went to sit up, an arm across her waist halted her.

Wraith felt uneasy. This was _too much_. She felt almost like she shouldn't be seeing it. It may not have technically been her, but that didn't mean it didn't feel wrong.

"Where're you going?"

She saw herself give the slightest glimpse of a smile. "The bathroom." She'd said. The man behind her whined slightly and tightened his grip on her. "A few more minutes? I wanna take advantage of the time we have left to sleep." He protested as her counterpart shook her head, unbeknownst to him as he hadn't bothered to open his eyes.

"I'll just be a minute, but you should get up too. The longer we take, the less likely we are to get something good from the cafeteria." She said, trying to lift his arm.

"You know there's nothing good in there anyways." He said, finally opening his eyes. He sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist groggily, and kissed her neck. She watched her counterpart smile.

That was when she decided that was enough. Watching these scenarios play out started to feel wrong, and even _perverted_. This wasn't her, and she didn't have this. She refused to acknowledge any of them after that.

This wouldn't affect her, she may not forget about them, but they wouldn't change the way she did things, and they most definitely wouldn't change her relationship with Elliot.

After she was sure she was in a safe place, and far enough into the ring, she exited the portal rift and scouted the area. After, she waited for her teammates to come through. She didn't want to think about whether they could see the same things she did. She was pretty sure they couldn't anyway, they'd probably have mentioned it by then.

A few seconds before the portal was meant to close, both Elliot and Path rushed through the portal, the former looking like he might puke. He groaned, sitting next to her on the rock she'd perched herself on, resting an elbow on her shoulder. She pretended just that movement on its own didn't make her stomach flip.

"Man, I'll never get used to that thing." He said, looking to her. "How do you do that on a daily basis?" Wraith shrugged his elbow off her shoulder and stood up, ready to keep moving. "Guess I'm just better at stomaching things." She mused.

"Hey, that thing is the only exception!"

\----

They won with ease and made it out with barely a few scratches. Elliot, as per usual, took all the attention when reporters crowded them on their way back to the base. She honestly should thank him since that meant less people for her to worry about, but she couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was always good at being the centre of attention. Mirage anyway. She knew it was just a persona.

On her way to her room, with nothing to distract her, her mind automatically went back to what she'd seen in the rift. She tried not to think about it, but thoughts like those were always pesky and irritating. Like moths, or flies.

She thought about the gentleness of his voice when he ran his thumbs over her scarred palms. The soft touches and kisses to her hand and her neck. The overall serene atmosphere of these scenarios. Like nothing bad could happen to _them. Like they were safe._ She reminded herself that she wasn't _there_. That _that_ wasn't _this_.

By the time she got to her room, she could only think to lay down and hope the thoughts would go away. They didn't obviously, even as she lay down, her arm covering her eyes, maybe in an attempt to shield herself from dreadful moments like these.

Any hope she had for a relationship with him she kept buried beneath everything else. She knew how she felt about him, even if she'd continue to try her best to deny it, to herself or anyone else. Eventually she decided maybe a shower would help. It had been a long day anyway.

Assuming she probably wasn't going to leave the room for the night, she grabbed some flimsy pajamas, undid her bun, and got in the shower.

She didn't take long, and when she got out, she felt a little better. After getting dressed again, she sat on her bed, staring at her palms. On her right hand, her scars looked like zig-zag lines that went from her fingertips to a little above her inner elbow. Her left hand was worse however. In the middle of her left palm, there was a scar that could be compared to a star, covering her entire palm. It etched its way all the way to her shoulder, lines and zig-zags that looked as though lightning had struck her.

She wasn't insecure about her scars necessarily, but she didn't trust anyone enough to show them. Then she'd need to have an explanation, and she didn't even have one for herself. She would one day though. That was why she came here in the first place.

A knock at her door had her startled, the voices hadn't warned her of anyone's presence, but more than startled, she was confused. She hadn't imagined anyone would be visiting her, especially since by now it was late. Nevertheless, she got up, put her gloves on, and opened the door, just slightly. Elliot. Weird.

"Hey."

"Hey uh, I noticed you went straight to your room after the game. Everything good?" _No,_ was what she wanted to say, but she didn't. "I'm just tired. I didn't really get a lot of sleep before the match."

"Oh okay, well I gotcha some food. Figured you might be hungry." He said, lifting the grocery bag full of food in plastic to-go bins in front of her. Suddenly she realized she was actually starving. She hadn't thought to grab anything earlier. "Thank you." She said, opening the door a little more to take the bag from him, quick enough that he wouldn't notice her arms.

"Yeah, no problem, I figured since it was on my way anyway." He looked a bit nervous, which she noticed immediately. "Is everything okay?" She asked, concerned, although often it didn't come off that way. She was working on it.

"Oh y-yeah, sorry you're probably busy. Didn't mean to keep you."

"You're fine. I wasn't really doing anything."

"Alright, well, see ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, goodnight." She smiled slightly as he walked away, and closed her door. Tomorrow they had another match and she'd be up early.

In a different reality, they were a thing, but in this reality, in _her_ reality, they were friends, and she cherished that.

**Author's Note:**

> Really sorry for any grammatical errors and the back and forth between present and past tense! I've always had a problem with that sort of thing, but I tried my best to keep it in the same tense! Any feedback is appreciated, and I hope you liked it! Hope it wasn't too boring or anticlimactic!


End file.
